the thick of it returns

 there be very strong language ahead

To celebrate the return of The Thick Of It to BBC 2 this Autumn, here are some of our favorite quotes from the previous seasons:

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Malcolm Tucker: How much fucking shit is there on the menu and what fucking flavour is it?

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Malcolm: (Listening to the radio) Fuck me! This is like a clown running across a minefield!

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Malcolm: [Nicola has revealed a DoSAC data leak to an on-the-record journalist] FUCK'S SAKE! JESUS CHRIST! Well, now we've got another fuckin' adjective to add to fuckin' 'smug' and 'glum', haven't we? 'FUCKIN' RETARDED!' Jesus Chri-- Do you not think it would be germane to check who you're talking to? IT'S A FUCKIN' NEWSPAPER OFFICE! IT'S NOT A FUCKIN' SANATORIUM FOR THE FUCKIN' DEAF, IS IT? ARE YOU SO DENSE?! AM I GONNA HAVE TO RUN AROUND SLAPPING BADGES ON PEOPLE WITH A BIG TICK ON SOME AND A BIG CROSS ON OTHERS SO YOU KNOW WHEN TO SHUT YOUR GOB AND WHEN TO OPEN IT?! JESUS CHRIST! OH, BUT THAT'D PROBABLY CONFUSE YOU AS WELL, WON'T IT? THAT'D BE TOO CONFUSING, YOU'D SEE THE CROSS AND GO 'OH, FUCK, X MARKS THE SPOT! I'D BETTER TELL THIS LITTLE PERSON ABOUT THE PRIME MINISTER'S FUCKING CATASTROPHIC ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION!' Oh, but not to worry, not to worry. You've sent fuckin' Ollie over there to deal with it. FUCKIN' OLLIE! HE'S A FUCKIN', HE'S A FUCKIN, KNITTED SCARF, THAT TWAT! HE'S A FUCKIN' BALACLAVA!

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Malcolm: Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off. 

Hugh: Well I'll come the fuck in then.

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Hugh: How fucked am I? 

Olly: Well, you look awful, you look terrible. I mean, you often look quite bad, but... 

Hugh: In terms of negative publicity. On the fuckometer, where am I? 

Glenn: Oh, 12. 

Olly: Yeah. 12, say. 

Hugh: Out of what? 

Glenn: Er... 50. 

Olly: Oh. Mine was out of ten.

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Malcolm Tucker: This is a Lock-Down! 

Nicola Murray MP: Oh come on, we're not in a prison drama are we? 

Malcolm: We are in a prison drama. This is like The Shawshank Redemption, only with more tunneling through shit and no fucking redemption.

 

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(Glen accidentally spills a box of crime figures paperwork)

Ollie: Well, that's given us an unexpected headstart. Thanks Glen. I would kill you, but I'd have to add you to the fucking figures.

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Terri Coverley: We don't exchange insults with bloody Simon arsepipes titty-twat. 

Olly Reeder: Is that honestly the best swearing that you can come up with? 

Glenn Cullen: This is a bucket of shit. If someone throws shit at us, we throw shit back at them. We start a shit fight. We throw so much shit back at them that they can't pick up shit, they can't throw shit, they can't do shit. 

Hugh Abbot: That's top swearing, Glenn, well done. 

Olly: Watch and learn.

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Terri: For your information, I have done nothing! 

Glenn: That will be your epitaph Terri.

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Steve Fleming: Everyone knows we don't get on. We are the Gallagher brothers of politics. 

Malcolm Tucker: Does that mean that I'm the semi-talented songwriter and you're the fucking loutish prick?

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